You would like to think that you and your partner would always be able to solve all of the problems within your marriage. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. There are times that you may need to seek the counsel and advice of a professional marriage counselor. Although these times, as well as the amount of counseling needed, may vary from couple to couple, there are a few key times that many couples benefit the most from some level of professional counseling.
Pre-Marriage
Premarital counseling is often a requirement of clergy prior to performing your wedding ceremony. Even if you are not getting married in the church, or this is not a requirement of your clergy, you may not want to miss out on this very important time to participate in counseling.
Premarital counseling gives you the opportunity to discuss and face key issues prior to them arising within your marriage. Although you may think that you know everything there is to know about your soon to be spouse, questions and counseling offered by a third party can often place issues on the table that you have not discussed before. Discovering and discussing these issues will often create more dialogue between the two of you before you walk down the aisle and hopefully continue once you are married.
Premarital counseling may help you stay out of divorce court. It has been shown that couples who are involved in some form of premarital counseling experience up to a 30% lower divorce rate than couples who do not engage in counseling. With the ballooning divorce rate, this alone should be grounds to make premarital counseling mandatory.
Following An Infidelity
Infidelity does not have to be the end of your marriage. Your marriage may be able to emerge from a disclosure of infidelity stronger, and more intimate than it was before. If you really want to work through issues, counseling may be a great place to do so.
Extramarital affairs can happen for a wide variety of reasons, and women often have affairs for different reasons than men do. Some of these common reasons include:
Counseling can often help you identify and work through the issues that may have been the cause of the infidelity in the first place. Effective counseling can help you to move past the blame game and begin the process of healing and strengthening your marriage.
When You Are No Longer Communicating Effectively
A good marriage is based on three Cs. These Cs are commitment, communication, and closeness. When communication breaks down, it is difficult to have the other two. Unfortunately, there are many points in a marriage that communication can break down or become difficult. Some of these reasons include:
Effective marriage counseling can help the two of you find ways to communicate more effectively. Some of the skills and techniques that may be beneficial to learn in counseling may include:
The key is to keep talking to each other and not at each other. Although marriage counseling cannot always fix everything that is wrong with your marriage, it can help the two of you find the strengths and resiliency that your marriage was initially built upon. By promoting and building upon these strengths, you may be able to rediscover the love and enjoyment you once found in each other.
For more information on marriage counseling, contact a practice like Drake Counseling Services.
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